JUMPING OFF THE DEEP END…

OK, so I’ve started to write the first post in my blog several thousand times…in my head.

And that’s exactly how I’ve lived my entire life…several thousand/million drafts of everything in my head before going forward with any of them (if I ever do attempt them).  I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve searched hundreds of blogs’ first posts to see how others have started. And the reason I wanted to start blogging in the first place, was to free myself from trying to live up to the “illusions of perfection” that other women have created or that I’ve perceived. Isn’t it ironic, Alanis?

So, I’ve decided to stop trying to come up with the most clever first blog entry in the history of blogs and just hold my breath and jump in. I’m surrendering to the process. Let’s see how it goes.  The only thing I AM sure of is the old way hasn’t worked!

So here I am about to make myself completely vulnerable. I’m going to be honest and admit all my failures, shortcomings and hopefully, lots of successes.

In a nutshell:

My name is Maryellen Hooper. I’m about to turn 45 years old next month (Ouch! Wow…this honesty crap really hurts!).  I’ve been a  professional stand-up comedian for 24 years. ( www.maryellenhooper.com) I married my husband Mark which was the smartest/healthiest thing I’ve ever done. I really can’t take credit for that on my own. I met Mark after finishing 2 years of personal therapy to break the cycle of dating lots of “Mr. Wrongs”. (Did I really just admit that? I wonder if I’ll have the nerve to leave that little tidbit in and not delete it.) Mark and I have been married for almost 8 years and have been together for 14 years. (Let me do the math for you…we dated for 6 years before we got engaged! But don’t get me started on that…)

We have 2 amazing little boys. Nate who’s 41/2 and Zeke who’s 16 months. Who’s idea was it to start a family when I was 40? Not mine. Time slips away when you spend it planning  all the details.  The when, how, who and where. I had it all mapped out. It wasn’t until Mark and I stopped trying to control HOW we were going to become parents and just opened up our hearts to becoming parents.

I should also tell you that I can’t cook, sew, quilt or scrapbook. I’ve never planted anything in my life that lived more than 2 days. I don’t really understand what composting is or what exactly happens when you recycle.

And yet… these are all the things I love and want to learn how to do. I want to be green. (I mean REALLY green, not just bring-canvas-totes-to-the-grocery-store kind of green) I want to cook my family a healthy, vegetarian dinner without it ending with me in the emergency room with 3rd degree burns. I want to craft and be creative  with my boys like www.soulemama.com instead of  buying plastic toys that leave no room for their imagination. (If I have to be Darth Vader one more time…). I want to turn off the TV and try to reform the parts of my brain that have turned to mush. (as soon as American Idol is over…) I want to pay it forward. I want to teach my boys how to help people in need.  I want to save the planet by using cloth diapers (OK…THAT’S never gonna happen. I’ll just vow to potty train Zeke early)  And so many other things.

But, alas, Rome wasn’t built in a day (That’s because they didn’t have Tye Pennington on the job!) So, I will take it one day at a time, one project at a time and I will keep you posted (pun intended!)