Mommy Protocol #2 Shopping With Your Kids

Shopping with your kids. We’ve all been there. It’s a necessary evil sometimes. Having said that, there are ways to make the event go smoothly for you and for EVERYONE  AROUND YOU…

1. Bring snacks. If you forgot snacks, tear open a bag of something from off the shelf and start stuffing it into your screaming kid’s mouth. In fact, allow me. It takes a village and I will be more than happy to help with your screaming banshee.

2. Bring toys. Doesn’t have to be fancy.  Just bring SOMETHING!

3.  Give them your freaking smart phone! What? You have kids and you don’t have a smart phone?  What’s the opposite of smart? I guess you wouldn’t know.

4. If your kid is running amuck, knocking over displays, stomping on MY FEET, biting and screaming, “NOOOOO!” Have consequences for their actions:

Did you really expect your kid to stand by you in the dress dept. for an hour and offer their advise on what’s flattering for your figure? Come on! I can’t even get my husband to do that and he’s relatively trained.

5. Stop screaming at your kid to “Stop screaming and get over here!!”  You’re WAY more annoying than they are.

And lastly:

6. If you count to your kid one more time…I will punch you before you get to #3.