Our 10 Year Anniversary Trip to “Brazil”

When a woman goes to a hair salon, there are many hair style magazines to assist you in your choice of cuts, colors and latests trends. Very helpful. Especially for the Mom of small children who hasn’t been around trendy people in years. I’ve been surrounded by other Moms of small children and we have a pact: I won’t judge you for bringing your children to school in your slept -in sweat pants, if you don’t laugh at my scrunchie pony tail tied up on top of my head to cover my 3″ roots. I wouldn’t know a current haircut if someone app’d it on my head with an iPhone.

That goes for {eh hem} ALL hair styles.

There are parts of a women’s body that have hair style trends besides her head. There are NO magazines to assist you in decision making for those parts. Well, I guess there are magazines, but they don’t have those laying around the salon.

So when I asked my husband what he wanted for our 10th wedding anniversary, I had no idea what he was talking about when he suggested I take a “trip to Brazil”.

“By myself?” I asked stunned. “You want me to go on our anniversary trip all by myself? And why Brazil? What’s in Brazil?”  “I’m sure you can figure it out.” he said as he laughed his way out the door.

So I grabbed the phone and called Amber. “Hey, I have a problem. Mark wants me to take a trip by myself for our anniversary.” “Wow. I didn’t know you guys were having problems.” “We’re not! That’s what’s so confusing. What do you think he’s trying to say?” “Did he say where he wanted you to go? It wasn’t Hades was it? Cause I know where that is.” “He wants me to go to Brazil.” “I have to hang up now. I’ll call you back when I’m done laughing.”

Let me be the one to tell you that going into a spa and ordering a “Brazilian Wax” means different things at different salons.  You should really clarify BEFORE you enter the small, scary room. I decided that I couldn’t do it, if I had to do it alone. “Come with me, Amber…please!” “You know I love you dearly, but there are limits to that love and this is one of them.” “Fine. Hey…I have an idea. What if we facetime with our new phones!” “Hmm…that might work. OK, I’m in.”

“Well, how does it look Anniversary Girl?” “It looks like I went to Brazil…when I was 9!!!!”

I was in shock. Pain and shock. All I kept thinking was that there wasn’t going to be an “anniversary” until I healed. Maybe same time next year. OW, OW, OW.  Did I mention OW?

The worst part? Mark’s reaction when he finally noticed: “Oh, my god…what happened?”           “I WAS ROBBED!!”