A stand-up view of marriage, motherhood & life

The perfect summer day…

I grew up in Florida. I spent 15 summers here and I have to say that I don’t remember it being this hot…ever! When I asked my Mom about it, she said, “Of course it was this hot. We just never went outside.”

My boys LOVE to go outside. They say they don’t mind the heat but after about an hour of 97 degrees…their whining, tantrum meltdowns tell me otherwise. So I try to keep them inside the cool house but there’s only so many ways you can stack the sofa cushions to make a fort.  When Zeke started hanging out in my laundry baskets,  I figured I better start getting creative.

At least I always know where he is. ("The Monster at the end of this Book"...greatest book ever!)
Little known fact: "The Monster at the end of this Book" was written to be read inside a laundry basket.
At least I always know where he is.
At least I always know where he is.

We went to Sea World with friends and discovered that it was “Buy a day…get a year”. So now we have season passes to Sea World. They have lots of water at Sea World and lots of sea creatures that like to splash that water on you. Shamu is kinda like a giant whale-sprinkler. The sting rays love to lure you over for a touch of they’re rubbery-ness then WHAM! they drown you with a wall of salt water. Just like the first 10 rows of a Gallagher concert, this was extremely annoying the first time we went, but now…we come prepared.

The Stingray to Nate: "Hey Pal...high five!"
The Stingray to Nate: "Hey Pal...high five!"
Then without warning...AAAAHHH! Nate's covered in watermelon...uh...I mean Sea Water!
Then without warning...AAAAHHH! Nate's covered in watermelon...uh...I mean Sea Water!

But this time we’ve outsmarted the fish: Nate’s wearing his bathing suit and no shirt! Refreshed instead of distressed. That should be the new slogan for Sea World: “Wear a swimsuit, bring a towel” That’s my advise.

Sea World also has lots of indoor, underwater, AIR CONDITIONED viewing caves. We went underground to watch the dolphins, manatees and a beluga whale! The penguin exhibit is downright chilly! Well worth the cost of admission.

"Mommy how long can we watch the dolphins play?" "As long as the air conditioner keeps running down here, Nate." “Mommy how long can we watch the dolphins play?” “As long as the air conditioner keeps running down here, Nate.”
Manatee rescue? More like Mommy heat stroke rescue.
Manatee rescue? More like Mommy heat stroke rescue.
Life immitating art...
Life imitating art...

 

The secret to surviving the summer: Seek out the shaded water pools and disguise “air conditioner squatting” as educational outings.

My Mom keeps telling me, “It’s like the states that have horrific winters…you  just keep your kids inside for 3 or 4 months.”  “Yeah, that looks good on paper, Ma. How ’bout I send them to your house when they start singing, “Swing low…sweet chariot…”

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