A stand-up view of marriage, motherhood & life

Mommy Protocols

pro·to·col/ˈprōtəˌkôl/

Noun:
  1. The official procedure governing affairs of state or diplomatic occasions.
  2. The established code of procedure or behavior in any group, organization, or situation.
As my journey as a Mom continues, I’ve been noticing that my frustrations have been on a steady incline. Not with motherhood in general, we all know our kids will frustrate us every day, all day, infinity. I’m talking about frustration with other Moms. (Other Dads are included in this, so don’t start raising your hands with objections.) Not just with Moms I know…I’ve seen some stuff in Target that made me put myself in a time out so I didn’t end up on the news. There needs to be some rules. A set of “What to dos” in social situations. So I’ve decided to take it upon myself to start such a list. I’m calling it “Mommy Protocols” Please feel free to add your nominations for the list in the comments box. If I use yours, I’ll send you a present, and hug your neck.
I’m not starting small. Number 1 on the list is the reason for the list…my proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back” so here goes:
Mommy Protocols
1.  If we attend your kid’s birthday party and your kid pushes my kid off the water slide and then BITES him in the thigh so hard it does this:
Not only should you try to help me with ice/band aids, but you should be apologizing the entire time. THEN you should call my house at LEAST once to see how my kid is doing.
(sigh) There’s an entire list of other things you should do, but I guess we need to start with the basics first.

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